Here ya go

A few pictures of the bride et al.
erikaneff.zenfolio.com
And this one:
sleepoutside

And the most recent nomination for loopiest honeymoon is...

Kevin and Shauna Wilson!
Took a car load of six females to SLC today. Bid adieu to my new bride. Back to eating out of a can. That might also be because we still don't have a functioning stove. A few things got hastily shoved to the rear this past week. Catch-up time!
One negligible side 'benefit' if this arrangement is that you-all will probably get to see more postings of the house and such as I keep Shauna updated. But, she can be a help in Ohio and that's very important also.
And, regarding pictures of the bride. Didn't have much of my own camera action going on- like none at all. You'll have to check out Sandra's blog some time soon. Or I might stumble across some pictures... Suffice to say that she looked great!
KW

Things I've learned about parenting this past week

A sleeping baby equals happy adults. Therefore, great pains can be endured if the prospect of a sleeping baby is on the horizon.
A clean, dry baby equals a happy baby (and a more-apt-to-sleep baby).
Number two gooey diapers are more efficiently and properly changed by someone of the female variety.
Ten and eight year olds are crazy.
Eight year olds that fall asleep on your lap in meeting might drool everywhere.
Not quite two year olds that are fighting sleep during meeting are a trial. (Shauna and I had Ryann, Elena, and Paige during Sunday morning meeting; grandma and grandpa were helping with Rhys. We were feeling pretty smug when we first sat down. Quiet Paige- typically busy, noisy Rhys. Wouldn't you know it, Rhys settled right down in two seconds and Paige was a squirming fuss. Can't win them all.)
Thumping the bink of a not quite two year old in an attempt to quiet them quiet during meeting only works about 50% of the time at best.
Trying to get food down kids at ten o'clock at night in the airport is not a good time to begin establishing rules like "You will eat all of this or else." In fact, it's not a good time to be trying to do much of anything productive with children. Keeping yourself sane should be top priority. But lots of luck with that.
You can get away with quite a few things when you have a baby that you couldn't otherwise. Like getting to stretch your legs back in the galley of the airplane while rocking a baby to sleep for the benefit of the entire plane. Granted, when one is thrown into continual carrying and rocking of a Paige sized baby with no warm-up, ones lower back does suffer a bit!
Which brings up another question: How heavy is Paige? That doesn't have a cut and dried answer. It depends on if it's 2:30 in the morning and you've just gotten home from Ohio and you're trying to get her back to sleep. Or if you've been lugging her around the airport for hours. Or if she just wants to be tossed in the air a couple times. And, when weighed against Rhys...
Number one thing I learned this past week: They're great. Great fun, great to tease, great to watch, great to play with. Thanks for giving me the crash course Arlen and Jessi!

We have succumbed to the fate of all newly weds:

No matter how hard you try, you just aren't going to get enough sleep the days leading up to the service.

Our mighty steed. Sans ribbon, balloons, cans... Note to future car defacers: Oreos stay on at speeds in excess of 80mph. Impressive!

They do smear and run when they get hot though.
Note to future defaced car cleaners: find a car wash that has a real live foaming brush, not just a bucket of cold water with a brush stuck in it. High pressure soap only goes so far. We wanted to get the ick off so we could see out the windows. Now some of the windows are frosted with a film of greasy Oreo centers. Lovely.
PS: the Oreos used to spell love and other such mushy things.
We did get lucky in one area. We forgot that some of the relatives still had access to one of the keys to our house. How we managed to let that happen is testament to how chaotic the past week has been. Fortunately, Corey had to leave directly after lunch and the old fogies were too bushed to make a special trip to our house, let alone get very creative with it. Their nap times were calling them. Yay for grandma and grandpa nap times!

This is the secret little hideaway we slipped off to. Real nice rustic place at the end of the road. Looks out on Castle Rocks (sister to City of Rocks). Very nice spot for hiking and such if one had the time...
And the best little steak house in Idaho. So they said. And Shauna gave it two thumbs up. She should know, the little carnivore. It did smell good! So, come on out. Do your part to keep this little jewel in business. Just head south out of Declo 'till the pavement ends somewhere near Utah.

In case you can't see the book: Porn for Women. I guess it was a hit at the bridal shower. (Have to take their word for it as I was barred from attending. One of the older ladies here was feeling sorry for me that, being a guy, I missed out on some of the social events. No apologies necessary thank you very much.) Anyway, this little book is full of men acting out women's fantasies. Doing chores, saying all the right things, being thoughtful... Emphasis on FANTASY! Don't worry, no nudity. Aren't you glad right now?! (Yes, I am wearing pants- quit your drooling.)

Bummer of the year: Shauna flies out tomorrow with Sarah, Emily and kiddos. :(((

We're not in Kansas any more...

On Wednesday, the closer I got to the farm the harder it rained. So, I continued on to Kalvin and Pam's where Shauna's been staying. She was going to Salt Lake that afternoon to retrieve my mother (thus commencing the in-gathering of relatives from the far-flung corners of the globe) and I asked if I could tag along. Little did I know that I would end up in Ohio.
Later that morning we got a call that Jessi was in the hospital and they wouldn't be able to come. After the initial major disappointment, it was decided that we couldn't let the whole family off the hook. So, by the time Shauna and I arrived in Salt Lake, the tickets had been rearranged. We picked mom up from the airport, the three of us crashed at a hotel, and Thursday morning Shauna and I were off to Ohio. We stayed in Ohio not more than 24 hours and headed back with three girls in tow.
We left Columbus Friday at about 5:30 in the evening, flew through Las Vegas to Salt Lake, then drove back up to Kalvin and Pam's.
Important crash course in parenting: after arriving home at 2:30 a.m. one can't simply crawl into bed when there are kids involved. They've got to be settled in first. In Ryann and Elena's case that just meant getting their sleep walking forms up the stairs- Paige took a little more persuading before she'd sack out again. I stumbled down the stairs and passed out in the basement.

The girls.




No, this picture isn't fuzzy. That's how things were beginning to look at that point in the adventure.

That was a life saving piece of work: Paige zonked under her pink blanket.

Good snacks, good entertainment, cramped legs... What more could a person ask for?

And this is what cinnamon roll dough looks like when you have a major distraction in the middle of the process. We stuck the dough in the freezer and continued on with the project when we returned from OH.

So, now it's a tangle of relatives. Rugrats, curtain-climbers and such doing their best to entertain the fogeys. Sorry, no pictures of all of that yet. In fact, I'll probably just let Sandra post the pictures from this weekend so you'll have to surf on over there in the near future. I may not get much photography time.
I'd better drag this tired boy to bed.

13 hours trapped in a glass box with the muddled meanderings of my mind

Climb on in. Let's go for a ride.
Stay with me, this does have a point.
  This all started as I was moving to a new field. Most of the time we refer to the fields by the name of the landlord. So, this one's the Bywater field.
It's intriguing to me that, somewhere along the line, as the gene pool expanded, we found it necessary to take on a second name to differentiate between John, John and John, all of whom lived in the same village. So, son of John distinguished himself as such and became John Johnson the first. The son of John down the lane was then obligated to add a T so that people would know that he too was unique and special. Thus he became Mr Johnston. So, the afore mentioned Bywater's great¹⁰ grandfather must have lived near the lake when he felt the urge to set himself apart.
  But, consider the field I just left. Belongs to a Kowitz family. Some poor dairyman eons ago failed to make a name for himself and inadvertently left it up to his neighbors to decide. His neighbors were kindly folks but he was a bit of a buffoon and they whispered of striking similarities between him and his cows behind their hands. Not wanting to outright offend him, but wanting to draw a line between John the dairyman and John the undertaker, they twisted their nickname into something more palatable. Using a primitive form of Piglatin, they came to call him Cow-it's. There you have it.
  Back when this taking a last name thing was popular, there was a William. He had sons, they got caught up in the name game, and a clan of Williamsons were born. Some generations later there arose a bone of contention. One of the brothers got fed up with the hoity-toity, high collar, powdered-wig-sporting ways of his kin and made a break. This black sheep was William the fifteenth but everyone knew him as Wil. So, his offspring naturally became Wilsons. (No offense to any Williamsons out there. I'm sure we've buried our differences long ago. In fact, I can't even really remember what the feud was all about now.)
  The natural course in the name game was to latch onto a handle that you associated with- even if it was only that you lived by the water. But some, it would seem, drew letters from a hat to see what they would call themselves. I thought that might have been the case with my dear future children's mother's maiden name. But, on further reflection, I realized it wasn't so random after all.
  This tale begins with a very respectable couple who wanted their children to be recognized, set apart. It was time that they too joined in this latest fad of Last Names. As it stood, they were known fondly in the village as Mr and Mrs _________. But they were stymied, stumped as is often the case when searching for names. One day the broom salesman came knocking at their door (the precursor to the vacuum cleaner salesman). He asked whose door he had knocked at and Mrs. _________ replied, (for she it was who opened the door) "Ray and me." It was an instant success. (Don't groan yet, it gets better!!) The broom salesman was so overjoyed to have witnessed the birth of this new family name that he gave them the newest, top-of-the-line broom as a gift. This benevolent act led him to be known as Broomgiver, Mr Broomgiver. Broomgiver's distinction served him handsomely in the area of broom sales and he was able to indulge in philanthropy later in life. One of his contributions to society was the famous broom museum of London, known as Broom Hall. This association was more majestic than his humble beginnings and Broomhall soon replaced Broomgiver. It was later further refined and today his offspring are known as Bramhall. You might have heard of them.
  So, it would seem that the practice of new Last Names has died out and we insist on using the same old ones we've had for centuries. That's rather mundane. But I'm having a hard time (as sometimes happens when one is choosing names). Gordonson? Beakson? Sorry Dave, Davidson etc have already been well used. Maybe we should shoot for a hybrid. Willey? Ramwil? Ramwell? Somehow I'm not thrilled about where this is headed.
Perhaps we ought to just make a clean break. We could accept nominations and put it up to a vote.

Or perhaps we ought to just leave well enough alone.
I suppose some apple carts just don't need upsetting.

A quick little note to let you know we're still here...

Back in the office, sitting in front of a computer all day.

Spring planting is in full swing. I'm back on the mark-out bar making nice, soft beds for the spuds to spend the summer in. Too bad this computer doesn't have internet access. Just a little picture of a tractor going back and forth leaving a yellow line in its wake. A very slow, unaction packed game of something or other. The whole experience is like a Goliath, slow motion game of Pong. Scoot along to one side of the field, turn around and head back. Repeat eight billion times. The only real action I get is when I have to get out to pick up a rock- and that's just annoying.
Seriously though. I really don't mind it. It's only ten days and it's fun getting the crops in. The GPS is fairly accurate. Gets you within 0.1 inches of where you need to be, more or less.

Small town stuff
You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
The tractor takes up most of the road. The mark-out bar hangs off each side of the road. A cattle drive takes up even more room than that. So, when we two met head on, there was a bit of a dilemma. Fortunately the neighbor had a wide driveway and I could use the tractor/bar as a portable fence to keep the cows out of the yard. No poop in the driveway, no chasing cows through the tulips. Everyone's a winner.

Small town stuff, take too:
The local judge was recommended to be the referee at our wedding. He gladly accepted- pro bono no less! With nearly three months to work us into his schedule there wasn't any problem. Now we notify him that there are less than two weeks. He's a busy man (presides over two counties) but he's still keen on being there for us. So, he's rescheduling a hearing to accommodate us! Who knew we had so much clout already? The entire judicial arm of south Idaho is on hold while we say our vows. No pressure. No one's watching or waiting on you. Just don't forget your line Wilson.

What happens when you have blue stool? Medical help. Now. Do not pass go. You've already passed something that you shouldn't have- and eaten something you shouldn't have.
Normally, and normal people, would go to great pains to avoid what is, undoubtedly, a great pain. Some purposely set out to acquire blue stool(s).

Actually, they're quite cool. Shauna's been having a ball whipping this place into shape. I hear the laundry room is going to be honeydew color. That's right, four walls with endless lists for me to come home to every night. I'm going to start using the front door...
And curtains. Shauna and Ruby Tuesday spent the day on draperies. Very nice touch!

All for now. Better get to bed. Another long day at the office tomorrow.

Oops

We were on our way out the door this evening, headed to the nearest internet cafe (McDonalds- hopefully by tomorrow night this cheapskate will have internet at the house. Sorry McD's. I know you hate to see us go...) and I was wondering what I could blog about. Then I had one of those you've-got-to-be-kidding me moments. My hand was still on the locked door knob when I realized that all of the keys were in the house. There are two or three spares- all of them in the junk drawer in the kitchen. And, as dilapidated as our windows are, none of them would let us in. I think we'll stick a spare key under the fake poop that's currently residing in one of Shauna's shoes.
Creativity 101.
We have ten foot sections of gas pipe that haven't found their assembled way under the house yet. Good for us.
There's also an old dryer vent hole high in the wall, directly across the laundry room from the door. Thank goodness I'm a procrastinator! Add pliers and a bungee from the pickup...

Glad I could entertain the ladies. Glad they found waiting around out in the cold and the dark amusing. Glad I could make them nearly wet their britches.

---

In other news: we think we've found a great little place. Up in a little hamlet in the mountains. A place to get married that is. Hawaiian clothes with snow in the background. Who said things have to be 'normal' and 'traditional' and all that rot? But it's inside- did I mention that?
All for now-
T 1&2

Roller coaster ride, eight billioneth time and counting...

I was just beginning to breathe a sigh of relief. The cars were rolling to a stop. The attendant was reaching to unlatch the shoulder harnesses. But, before he could quite get his hand there, the chain caught again and we were suddenly at the dizzying top once more and spinning down the other side.
I'll try to get this straight but pardon the wind whistling in our ears.
Because the whole event is two-fold (wedding and Ramey reunion- both equally important) we've decided to bump the wedding date up to accommodate an earlier reunion. The hope is that Jessi will be well enough for everyone to enjoy the time together.
So, re-mark your calendars, scribble out the date on your announcement. It's now the 26th of April. Yes, that would be this month. Yes, that would be in three weeks. But we're excited, settled, glad that there can be some good family time.
Thanks for being flexible with us!
Twit 1 and Twit 2

Shauna said I should go ahead and post this...

MEMORANDUM

In accordance with Wilson-Ramey Wedding ordinance 53C:
In regards to the the union of Kevin Wilson and Shauna Ramey- including the ceremony and all functions, activities, and gatherings, related to, associated with, or connected, directly or indirectly (hereafter referred to as The Wedding).

We, the hosts (hereafter referred to as The Hosts), do decree that any discussion involving politics is strictly prohibited at The Wedding without the express written consent of The Hosts (and it won't be given- so don't even think of asking). The topic of religion may be freely discussed.
Any persons found not to be in compliance with this ordinance will be subject to any or all of the following disciplinary actions:

Exclusion from or expulsion from any or all events related to The Wedding.

Hung from the tree and used as a pinata.

Solitary confinement in the bowels of a cellar full of rotting potatoes.

Forfiture of all future grandchild/niece/nephew etc visitation rights.

Fines in the form of healthy charitable contributions to your opposition party.

Any other action(s) deemed necessary or appropriate by The Hosts.

We are The Hosts and we approve this message.

hoos

"Make yourself at home", I said. Dear me.

She's taking this yard thing quite seriously. Mom and dad- can you send over some more of those special lights you have from your youth?


Quote of the day: "See Loraine, this is what happens when you turn a woman loose with a paint brush."


One of the freshly painted cupboards. This one doesn't get its doors back. Poor thing. Hope it doesn't feel too exposed.